A year ago I was praying that my life would just fall into place. Everything felt so misplaced and I felt so limited. My mind trapped me and I allowed it.
I started off 2016 with the whole “this will be the best year of my life” thing, but didn’t really believe it. Who knew I would be doing what I am doing now.
Full disclosure here: my achievements do not consist of any extreme sports, promotions, unbelievable acts of kindness or anything too wild for that matter of what.
My achievements are a woman with Generalised Anxiety Disorder who feared they would never find independence in their life, landing a job, getting her license and a car, and taking the road to a more holistic way of living.
To someone with a mental illness that is SO hindering it leaves you physically ill, these achievements are life changing. I never believed I’d be able to go into a workplace and… work. Not because I am a lazy person, in fact I think I am a very hard worker when it comes down to it, but because I doubted I would ever be able to surround myself with unknown people and have my mind focus on anything other than my anxiety.
I couldn’t even attend my doctors appointments without crying out the front of the centre, completely petrified of the waiting room and in fear of making myself physically ill in front of the few people sitting around reading magazines. Now I sit inside, watch the TV, browse those magazines like the other sick people in the room. Although I might feel anxious I now have the ability to mask that enough to function almost normally. I can do what other people can do and I’m proud of that.
I can drive a car, I can go to the shops, I was able to sit through a movie at the cinemas, I can do THINGS!
I know now my dreams aren’t just dreams. Their reachable and the hard work is doable. I might have an extra load on my shoulders compared to everyone else but I’ll just have to be that little bit stronger.
If you take anything away from the post take away the fact that ANY achievement is an achievement and YES you should celebrate it! Did you get out of bed today? FUCK YEAH, you did! I knew you could!
It’s easy to not do anything, it’s worth it to do something!
A soul searcher 