“How to Deal When in a Shitty Place” from Apprehensive Girl 101

We all get into a bad headspace every once in a while. Unfortunately, mine has lasted the last couple of weeks and at the expense of my poor boyfriends patience and goodwill.

I couldn’t tell you how to snap out of a bad mood for the life of me, but I can share some advice on how I make (and how I am trying to make) this terrible time a little less aggravating.

I am super stressed right now. I know, I know, so is everyone else… However, due to my personality and MAINLY my anxiety my emotions can be a teeny weeny incy little bit over dramatised…I mean I have a heart attack when the sheets aren’t on the bed perfectly.

This stress stems from a lot of things right now. Pressure and expectations being the main offender. As of lately I have heard comments about my anxiety being used as ‘an excuse’ and that I should be working and doing all these things a normal 20 year old is supposed to do. The pressure of others and their expectations has been just sitting in the back of my mind and with each word it is just slowly expanding, I feel like my head is going to explode.

I get very emotional when people judge me or talk about me in a nasty way and I think these comments in particular have weighed me down. I start workplacement soon though so I hope that helps the weight subside. In saying that though this leads to another stress factor… HOW THE HELL CAN I WORK WHEN I STILL STRUGGLE TO GO TO A MOVIE?!

You can imagine the anxiety I am having over that even though it is still over a month away. PRESSURE THOUGH.

My partner and I go on a holiday in 3 weeks and I am already freaking out about whether I’ll be sick, whether I’ll be able to sit through the hour and a half flight, whether I’ll be able to catch a train (nightmare for my anxiety!) and just whether or not I’ll be nervous about everything! Like jeez Teigan, get a grip.

This then leads on to the fact that my partner leaves for his training in the Defence Force in October and I have no idea how life will be without him! I’ve been living with him for the past year and before that he was the person who saved me from the horrid place I had previously lived in. He is the only person who knows my anxiety almost as much as myself and he is simply my rock.

Aside from a few other smaller issues, can you see why this anxious mind is working over time?

“Take it as it comes, Teigan. Go with the flow,” you might all say, but let me tell you this… It’s not that easy.

So here I am, sharing with you, how I am currently coping with the mess in my head.

Today my method of finding some ease was to buy a weekly planner. I have no clue if I’ll use it… I used to buy diaries and write in them for a week only to never lay eyes on them again. However I found some relief in feeling  a little bit more organised. I intend to use it and incorporate it as a daily strategy to any ‘scheduling’ anxiety issues.

I also like to do Yoga. Cliche you may say but in the right environment it’s just you getting out of your head by getting into your head… you know what I mean?

Following on from that, exercise. Cannot stress this enough. When I feel good about my body, I feel good about myself and I see things more positively. It just works.

Another strategy… I blog. On here, on BayArt, on TurnHerPassion. I write and usually it is just my feelings being typed out through my aggressive fingers and it is relieving.

With all this I try to practice mindfulness, although I know jack crap about it. I like to watch and read things on this beautiful way of life and I wish to one day be completely mindful of the world and myself and to just be observant and non responsive. When I know enough on this topic I would love to write about it too. If you’d like to share anything about it with me, please feel free to comment or find me through social media.

I am beginning to think this post has lost its structure but the thoughts are flowing so I can’t stop, but I am glad you are still here.

Another release I tend to use a lot is anger. Not the most practical nor the most efficient. This is where I hope mindfulness comes into play… I get so angry and my partner takes the lash of my snaps and comments. I am aware of this now, so I hope with the awareness I will be able to control it. I intend to not hold it in, but release it in another form. Through typing, through physical activity or something else. I intend to release the anger through anything but hurtful words or actions.

I find comfort in food. NO, not junk food. In sourcing ‘good for your body’ foods. I enjoy looking online, through shops, researching and discovering things about new/healthy foods. I enjoy cooking, eating and trying these foods and living healthily. As I said before, I feel better when I feel good about my body and that comes with what I do and what I put in my body.

I like to talk as well, about my problems. I find a big rant can be so relieving and this can take off some of the tension I feel. Sometimes it’s hard though. Don’t get me wrong, talking about how you feel can be extremely difficult. Once it’s done though (and to the right person with a kind listening ear) my little heart feels a lot lighter.

I feel like I’ve wandered off a little bit on this post and I don’t think it turned out to be as useful or structured as I’d originally planned. I would conclude with something great but I am really dying to drink my tea and watch The Vikings…

With that being said I want to give you a little bit of a reminder that it is ok not to be ok. I am positive person ( I like to think) but I too feel sadness, anger, resentment, nerves and so forth. To be emotional is not something to be embarrassed off, it’s how you deal with those emotions that define you. You could be anxious, but that’s ok. Acknowledge that anxiety, don’t be consumed. Hard I know but I think together we’ll learn.

(Not proof reading as I am currently too interested in the life of Ragnar Lothbrook, so please enjoy me, unedited)