I don’t have crooked teeth but I sure as eggs had a crooked morning.
I was meant to have my braces taken off today (I have braces now as an adult because I can afford to pay them off but when I was a child I couldn’t ask that of my parents).
Checked in with the receptionist I paced the waiting room for 20 minutes. This was 20 long minutes after I had arrived on time mind you, so as each minute rolled over my stomach did another flip and I thought I was going to puke.
The dainty orthodontist assistant that always calls me in but never seems to remember my face showed me into the room. We shared the quick “Hello, how are you?” And I sat down.
My orthodontist is a straightforward kind of man. Every appointment is in and out which is fine by me.
Today however I had mentally prepared myself for a longer appointment. The removal of the train tracks that lay across my top row of teeth.
He asked me if I was happy with my teeth and I said I was and that I could definitely see the difference now. Expecting to mould more into the chair as he grabbed his tools to do the job I felt the chair come straight back up.
“We’ll book you in for a half an hour removal session then.”
WHAT?! All that stressing for nothing!?
Meaning of the story- I have to wait another month of working myself up until he has another appointment open to get these metal things removed. DAMN.
So that was some bad news and to top off the day I declined an invitation to hang out with someone for personal reasons. We all know what happens when someone that has horrible anxiety and overthinks every situation does something that could offend someone else- GUILT TRIP THEMSELVES.
I am so over guilt tripping myself. Seriously if I don’t want to hang out with someone for ANY reason I shouldn’t feel obliged to. If I want to delete someone off Facebook because the content in which they post is complete and utter bulls**t then I shouldn’t feel guilty while doing it!
Even further than feeling guilt tripped I shouldn’t be letting anyones opinion define what I do and what I don’t too.
I need to treat myself with respect. As my partner said… I need to be more of an asshole.
Sometimes you need to be a little tough in order to protect your own hide.
His advice is always great and he is right, I really do. I need to say no when I mean NO. I know some people just won’t like me and they’ll talk about me and I am pretty ok with that BUT I also need to not be so nice to them either. I need to not go out of my way for someone when they just use me.
I don’t have to be a b*tch, I just need to be nice an asshole (the less b*itchier version of a b*tch).
I am all for respecting everyone. Hands down I believe in spreading the love and appreciating the light in others. I think I just need to know when it’s time to take one for me.
I know I kind of rambled on… But I needed a little bit of a writing session to just get the mess of words in my head into some kind of order. So… excuse my horrible structure, horrendous spelling mistakes and bad punctuation but today I’m doing me so I don’t care. Self love fellow bloggers!
From the wise words of Tom Haverford and Donna Meagle…